Hypnotherapy for a problem

Hypnosis for Sexual Confidence and Performance Anxiety

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Start with a medical check. Erection problems that keep happening can be a sign of a treatable health condition, such as high blood pressure, diabetes or hormone problems, and the NHS advises seeing a GP if they recur. Once physical causes have been considered, one described mechanism of performance anxiety is watching yourself instead of being in the moment. Hypnosis can help you practice shifting that attention.

Should you see a doctor first?

Yes, if problems keep happening. The NHS page on erectile dysfunction notes that it is very common, particularly in men over 40, and that most men occasionally fail to get or keep an erection, usually because of stress, tiredness or drinking too much alcohol, which is nothing to worry about. If it happens often, it may be caused by a condition such as high blood pressure or high cholesterol, diabetes, depression or anxiety, or hormone problems, or it can be a side effect of some medicines.

A doctor or a sexual health clinic can check your blood pressure and general health and discuss treatment, which can include medicines that increase blood flow to the penis. The NHS warns that many websites selling these medicines online sell fakes, so be very careful buying them that way.

For anyone, whatever their body, pain during sex or a noticeable physical change is a reason to see a doctor before working on confidence.

What is spectatoring?

The Wikipedia article on spectatoring describes a process suggested by Masters and Johnson in 1970: focusing on yourself “from a third person perspective during sexual activity, rather than focusing on one’s sensations and sexual partner,” which “can increase performance fears and cause deleterious effects on sexual performance.”

In other words, part of your attention leaves the experience to monitor and judge it, and that monitoring feeds the fear it is checking for.

The article describes two kinds of therapeutic response: redirecting attention from yourself to your partner, and sensate focus, which involves focusing on and enjoying your own physical sensations.

What else helps?

The NHS suggests trying to reduce stress and anxiety, stopping smoking, exercising, eating healthily and keeping alcohol to no more than 14 units a week. It adds that counselling and therapy can help when erection problems are linked to emotional or mental health problems, and that sex therapists can also be seen privately.

Can hypnosis ease performance anxiety in bed?

With the attention shift. A session can help you:

  • Practice noticing the spectator: the moment your mind steps outside to watch and grade.
  • Rehearse returning to sensation: touch, warmth, breathing, and your partner’s responses.
  • Settle beforehand, so the evening does not start with a racing heart.

It does not treat physical causes, and it belongs as one part of the approach above, not a substitute for a medical check or for sex therapy when that is needed.

One conversation and one appointment

Book the medical check if problems keep happening, so you know what you are dealing with. Then talk to your partner, at a calm moment outside the bedroom, about the pressure you have been feeling. Once the anxiety has been said out loud, it no longer has to be hidden.

This article is general information, not medical or psychological advice; talk with a licensed clinician about your own situation.

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